I want you to have something I don't need anymore

[wizened_cynic]

Holy shit, I haven't been here in forever!

I'm still alive (barely) and am three exams down. Two more to go.

On a happy note, I did not fail the awful oral submissions thing where I was almost in contempt of court. I didn't get a great mark, but I ain't complaining, considering I seriously thought I would fail because I wasn't allowed to argue LAW so I had no idea how they were supposed to assess me.

On an even happier note, I totally motherfucking pwned my plea in mitigation for Criminal Litigation. Like, honestly, it was the punched-it-in-the-face-and-then-got-its-girlfriend-pregnant-by-mystical-powers-of-fpreg kind of pwned.

To celebrate my survival of this insane term, I'm bringing back, for the holidays, the BEST FIC MEME EVER.

Rules:

1. Pick a card on someecards.com. Any card.It doesn't even have to anything to do with Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever you're into.

2. I will write something for you based on that e-card. I pick the pairing/characters, so you may end up with Alex/Lorelai, or you may end up with Demon Hunter!JJ, or you may end up with CHAD.

3. I actually filled out all the prompts last time I did this, so there's a good chance I will be able to do the same this time!


I have no idea how many of you are still around, but I hope I'll get a couple of prompts at least! I feel Christmasy! And Chad-dy! God, it's never good when I feel Chad-dy.

And now I will watch SVU and relax. Shut up, I know I make bad choices. (But OMG! NEAL IS JUMPING SHIP! THERE IS A TINY TINY TINY POSSIBILITY THAT THE BLOODY SHOW WOULD FINALLY END AND I CAN BE FREEEEEEEEEEEE.)




BEST FIC MEME EVER! DO IT!!!!!!

Comments

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Coffee-covered crotch is good enough for me! AND it alliterates!

Yay for inserting the links right. For that, you get a random The Office AU for JJ/Emily. Sort of. I don't even know if you watch The Office. Don't watch The Office; it sucks now. But the first three seasons are awesome.



There is no such thing as privacy in the B.A.U., so it's only a matter of time until everyone finds out that Cute British Guy has asked Emily out.

"You should go out with him," JJ says. They're in the snack room, checking on the Jell-O, which has the perfect consistency, thanks to the one chem class Emily took during her sophomore year at Yale. "I mean, he's cute, he's got that accent, and he's leaving in a week so even if it all goes to hell, at least the awkwardness won't last forever."

JJ sounds so enthusiastic that Emily says, "Maybe you should go out with him." There's an edge to her voice that she's tried to hide and failed, not that JJ notices because Will chooses right at this moment to appear.

"Who's JJ going out with?" he drawls, slinging his arm around JJ's shoulder.

Emily swears she sees JJ flinch, but then again, lately Emily's kind of sucked at judging anything to do with JJ.

"Emily has a crush on Cute British Guy," JJ explains.

"I don't have a crush on him," Emily points out. "I'm still considering whether or not I'm attracted to him."

"I stand corrected," JJ says. "Emily's almost decided whether or not she's attracted to him."

Will obviously doesn't know how to respond to that, so instead he kisses JJ by her ear and asks if she wants to have a picnic with him down in the warehouse. "I got the whole place to m'self," he says.

JJ shifts her gaze from Will to Emily and (she really does flinch this time) says, "We're kind of in the middle of something."

"Important spy operation," Emily adds.

"You girls putting Reid's stapler in Jell-O again?" Will asks, mildly annoyed but mostly confused.

"Last time Future Reid sent a fax to Present Reid we ended up having to listen to him lecture about the mechanics of time-travel for the whole afternoon," says JJ.

"Jell-O's easier," says Emily.

Once Will's gone, there's a moment of awkwardness and then JJ says, poking the Jell-O mold with her finger (she's not wearing her ring), "So, like I was saying, Em, you should totally go out with Cute British Guy."

"Do we even know Cute British Guy's name?" Emily asks. It's only 50% rhetorical.

"Fine," says JJ, rolling her eyes. "You should go out with Cute British Guy, also known as Mick . . . something. Garcia's done some background digging and you'll be happy to know that he is not a serial killer."

"Then what will we talk about at dinner?"

JJ laughs. "Seriously, Emily. I can't think of a single reason why you shouldn't go out with him."

I can, Emily thinks. He's not you.


*Cute British Guy is that British guy in the CM spinoff, backdoor pilot, whatever --- he was in that episode last year where the writers tried to make him flirt with Emily.

[silverturtle87.livejournal.com]

It does alliterate, awesome. Hopefully the bad juju of my not so mighty mental powers will make the coffee-covered crotch a reality (also, hopefully in your presence so you can appreciate it as it happens).

I remember Cute British Guy. I remember thinking 'not so cute' and then 'omg he's flirting with Emily, wrongwrongwrongbadwrong'. But this prompt fic? It is very right and very good. And poor Emily, foolish JJ, and slightly jealous Will are a dynamic I can get behind because in my head canon it all leads to Will leaving in a huff, Emily showing JJ exactly how foolish she's being and coming to her senses, and Emily not being so poor anymore. So thanks!

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! If we go with The Office's canon, it ends up with JJ and Emily kissing in the break room during Casino Night, which Gideon insisted on hosting, and then Emily transfers to Stamford over the summer while JJ breaks off her engagement with Will. That's when I stopped watching.

It's taking me forever to do these prompts, but in my defense, I still have 2 exams, and the only writing I do these days begin with "Counsel is instructed to appear at the pre-trial review before Master XXXX ..."

I will do them all! All of them! Like Chad and his strippers!

[silverturtle87.livejournal.com]

Ok, we'll go with that canon. It's a good place to stop.

Wow. If I were writing that every day I think my brain would be mush by now...you're doing really well!

Huzzah! Don't push yourself too hard, though. Also, LOL! Chad the sleazy sex-hound is a riot...his strippers think so too.