wizened_cynic | Entries tagged with joan of arcadia fic

1. I have a Vox account. I don't know why, and I don't know what to do with it, but there it is. I'll probably be using it as a "safe" blog to show the anally-religious children of my parents' friends, as well as to practice my Chinese writing, because I have to take some government-issued exam in a couple of months. I have a few invites left over, so if any of you want one, just take off your shirt and ask. (Unless you are male, in which case I have no desire to see you shirtless, and definitely keep your pants on.)

2. The other day I wrote Alex/Lorelai coming out fic and I said that I would write fic or do whatever for anybody who made a photoshopped image of them (to be used at their really gay lesbian wedding! at which Kirk will be the flower girl), and

drummer_jew2002 made a BRILLIANT one, and so she is rewarded with Joan of Arcadia apocalypse fic. (See #5)

3.

amazon_life also made a hilarious one and she asked for Abby/Neela fic, which, NO WAY IN HELL, because I have washed my hands of that stupid doctor show. No, seriously. Ask for something else! Something within my limited capabilities!

4. Last night the power went out and I was thoroughly convinced, when it didn't come back on within 5 minutes like it usually does, that it was the end of the world and the government has declared war and is making us turn off the lights so terrorists can't find us and BOMB us. (Yes, my vision of war is rooted around 1942.) As I contemplated this, I thought briefly about writing End of the World Stars Hollow fic, where everyone dies, but that would either be really sad (because Lorelai dies) or really inappropriately hilarious (because Rory! in a shallow grave!), and Alex would be really upset because Hammond dies and her files are gone so no one knows Alex Cabot is still alive, so basically she is STUCK being Claire FOREVER. I forgot to mention that Alex doesn't die, because of natural selection - the world needs her beautiful, smart, blonde genes to repopulate the earth.

I realized I can't write that fic.

5. So I wrote Joan of Arcadia apocalyptic Grace/Luke fic instead. It's been forever since I've written these fuckers, so they are probably OOC, but seriously, do I look like I care? I spend many hours of a day PHOTOSHOPPING FAKE LESBIANS.

Warning: character death, and lots of depressing shit in general. Also, a baby. Also, a surprise crossover at the end! You'll see it when you get there.

( People are nervous, even though the government swears it's in control of the situation. As if the president could be in control of anything except his own bladder. Actually, Grace wouldn't be surprised if he's still using Pull Ups. )

Current Mood: destructive
Current Music: Margot and the Nuclear So & So's - Skeleton Key

I'm supposed to be on sabbatical and all, but I figured out this doesn't count because it's JOA-related rather than stupid Alex/Lorelai-related. After much prodding by

fewthistle, I finally got around to writing JOA fic again. I'd forgotten how much FUN it is to write Joan.

I always wondered what would happen if Joan told people she talked to God and they actually believed her instead of sending her to Bellevue. This fic is an attempt to answer that question. 595 words, first and last lines supplied by

flying_peanuts.

( everything is illuminated )

Anyway. Back into my hole I go.

I'm hooked onto season 3 reruns of Law and Order SVU, and holy mother of christ, why hasn't anybody told me how HOT Alex Cabot is? My entire family was crushing on her tonight during dinner (yeah, SVU makes for great dinner viewing; nothing like rape and murder to work up our appetites), including the very femme Cynic Dad, who uses moisturizer and cries watching sad movies.

I was uncharacteristically happy during my birthday, so I wrote uncharacteristically squishy het fic. Alas, the end is nigh.

Thanks to thenewhope for the beta, and for two others who offered but then got a life or something, I'm not bitter. Next off: DrunkMommy!Sarah/DeadMommy!Elizabeth, because nothing says slash like a rabbi's wife and some dead housewife.

( Walls - Grace/Luke. Grace/Joan if you really wanna grasp at straws. )

Current Mood: indifferent

Well, kiddies, here it is: the timetraveling!Grace fic you've all been waiting for. Okay, just artemis_rain .

This crazyass fic is based on a dream I had after reading Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife, and so this is a crossover. Sorta. A lot of stuff is taken from it, so read the book, yo!

Many thanks to artemis_rain , my most excellent beta woman, my consultant-and-IR, the only reason why I write Luke/Grace in the first place. Oh, I couldn't think of a title, so I lifted a line out of my PHIL 220 syllabus.

I have notes coming later. As well as a sequel, maybe, from Luke's POV. But I am very tired now and I must bang my head against the wall.

( Formal Proofs in Boolean Logic )

Current Mood: tired

This was for the Five Women God Never Spoke To challenge. Yeah, I can't believe it either. I wrote O.C. fic. And it sucks, because I completely messed up the timeline (and quite frankly, I don't really care, because that show is ASS) and my Summer is basically Grace Polk, dressed in Juicy Couture.

Whatever. Here goes. Spoilers up to the episode before the latest one. I don't even remember the title.

( Summer, God, and Manolos )

Current Mood: tired

Yeah, that's right, I don't sleep. So here you go, I give you more crack fic. I call this ficlet The One Where Joan Makes Out with Everybody. ~~This is so not proofread, it's not funny. Ergo, it is friendslocked for now.~~ Have fixed it up and am reposting it now, because I'm proud of the Grace/Joanness at the end. Thanks to

thenewhope for the quick beta. She is TEH awesome.

By the way, Hope, I added you on MSN. I don't actually use my WC account, and I would never have noticed that you added me, had I not logged in the wrong account by mistake. I look forward to talking about porn with you.

( Joan/Adam, Joan/Judith, Joan/Other, Joan/God, Joan/Grace, Me/Sleep Deprivation )

I can't sleep. So I wrote. Am very hungry now. Must find food.

This chapter has very little to do with the Girardis. Yeah, I decided I needed a break from the norm.

( wherein Grace writes poetry )

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: sound of the newspaper being thrown at my front door

So, DH sucked last night, except for the bits about Deirdre. I tried to watch Grey's Anatomy, but I couldn't get into it. Izzy is so my favorite though. Hello Kitty underwear! Hee!

My local Death by Chocolate is now selling bubble tea. Bubble tea, in case you don't know, is the single greatest invention by the Taiwanese, ever. It took over Vancouver a couple of years ago, resulting in that, if you randomly throw a rock up in the air, you will probably hit 3 different Starbucks and 2 bubble tea places. Of course, this is Vancouver, so the house down the street is actually a marijuana-growing operation, and when we find out, we're just concerned that we didn't get any free weed. My suburb is so Asianized that the signs in the libraries are written in languages in this order: English, Traditional Chinese, Simplified Chinese, Japanese, Punjabi, Hindi, and French. Yes, French is our other official language --- we don't remember it either.

Sometimes I love Vancouver so much. It's so weird.

Okay, here is part three of Grace in college. It's short and crappy, and I don't like it, but whatever. I've got Latin on my mind, and I just remembered I signed up for some depressing poetry fic challenge that's due in 2 weeks, and so I've got to kill Joan before the end of the month.

( insert witty title here )

Current Mood: annoyed

Being the brilliant person that I am, I stayed up till 2:30 in the morning to write fic. Yeah, I know, I'm so screwed.

Off the top of my head, I decided that this Grace-in-college thing will have 11 installments. It will be a semi-related series of vignettes that are probably not in chronological order. Still unbeta-ed because, dude, TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING, and I usually end up making more changes after I post it somewhere. Which is why it's actually better to read the almost-final copy (complete with footnotes!) on my website. I gave my website a makeover, by the way. It now has color. Color! No, I did not renovate my website just so I can stick pictures of Amber Tamblyn everywhere, but that was indeed an incentive.

( Please just close the fucking window. )

Just for the record, I know nothing about cold, geography of the eastern United States, or Jewish holidays. Please suspend your disbeliefs for the time being, and close the fucking window.

Current Mood: aggravated

See, the minute I come to realize that I have an exam in 2 days and I will definitely fail if I don't get off my ass and study about juvenile delinquents, I open up MS Word and start to type, "Abby and Neela go to the beach."

Or something like that.

So here is an untitled ficlet in which Grace goes off to college. Unbeta-ed because I whipped it up in 40 minutes, and also because I'm too embarrassed to keep making Hope beta fics that I write for her. SO HERE YOU GO, thenewhope, THIS IS A SURPRISE! Just, um, ignore all the run-on sentences, comma splices, and the Monterey Jack ending.

( A lot of this is transference, and Jo hates female prisoners. )

I might feel like continuing this later because, hello, I've got 5 exams!

ETA: Annotated version will be coming later. Because I hate corporate crime, and I love footnotes.

EATA: Annotated version is here. Shut up, I am studying Greek, ok?

Current Mood: lazy

( I tend to write Joan/Judith fics. I also tend to make each one gayer than the last. )

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Cathedrals - Jump Little Children

Tomorrow is going to suck.

That is because I have a 2 hour German class and I have not yet obtained the necessary German materials.

That is also because I get my Sociology exam back and I am 99.9% percent sure that I failed it. Like, fail fail. Below 50%. Not like Chinese-style failing which is anything lower than an A.

So I might as well get this crap off my chest.

I've been fighting this story for a long time. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, and it was such a fucking bitch to write. I love Grace to death, but she hurts me when I try to write her. So anyway, here it is.

( Scar Tissue - Grace/Adam/Joan )

Current Mood: depressed

I got a pretty Veronica Mars icon, thanks to junedreaming. Love you, Noa baby.

My English exam was disastrous. But I got a decent mark on my term paper, which is actually worth more than the exam, so I'm probably going to pass this course, which means I'll never ever have to take English again!

And I wrote some shit. Haven't written anything this long for at least 6 months, so yeah, it sucks, but whatever. There's a glue gun involved. I tried to make it more slashy, but dumbass God-loving characters wanted to be fuzzy and friendshippy. Bitches. The formatting is screwed too. Fuck you, MS Word.

( The Lost Art of Lamps )