wizened_cynic: (iCarly - everyone)
[personal profile] wizened_cynic
Holy shit, I haven't been here in forever!

I'm still alive (barely) and am three exams down. Two more to go.

On a happy note, I did not fail the awful oral submissions thing where I was almost in contempt of court. I didn't get a great mark, but I ain't complaining, considering I seriously thought I would fail because I wasn't allowed to argue LAW so I had no idea how they were supposed to assess me.

On an even happier note, I totally motherfucking pwned my plea in mitigation for Criminal Litigation. Like, honestly, it was the punched-it-in-the-face-and-then-got-its-girlfriend-pregnant-by-mystical-powers-of-fpreg kind of pwned.

To celebrate my survival of this insane term, I'm bringing back, for the holidays, the BEST FIC MEME EVER.

Rules:

1. Pick a card on someecards.com. Any card.It doesn't even have to anything to do with Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever you're into.

2. I will write something for you based on that e-card. I pick the pairing/characters, so you may end up with Alex/Lorelai, or you may end up with Demon Hunter!JJ, or you may end up with CHAD.

3. I actually filled out all the prompts last time I did this, so there's a good chance I will be able to do the same this time!


I have no idea how many of you are still around, but I hope I'll get a couple of prompts at least! I feel Christmasy! And Chad-dy! God, it's never good when I feel Chad-dy.

And now I will watch SVU and relax. Shut up, I know I make bad choices. (But OMG! NEAL IS JUMPING SHIP! THERE IS A TINY TINY TINY POSSIBILITY THAT THE BLOODY SHOW WOULD FINALLY END AND I CAN BE FREEEEEEEEEEEE.)




BEST FIC MEME EVER! DO IT!!!!!!

Date: 2010-12-12 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
Alex/Lauren, Gospel According to Chad 'Verse

*

If it were up to Alex, she wouldn't have invited Lauren over for Christmas, mostly because she actually liked Lauren --- she really, really liked Lauren --- and Alex would never subject anyone she liked to the annual Cabot Christmas Catastrophe.

"It alliterates!" Lauren exclaimed. "I can't not go to something that alliterates in such a cheesy and ridiculous way."

Lauren seemed capable of handling family dysfunction and copious amounts of alcohol, so Alex reluctantly conceded and told her mother that she would be bringing a guest.

"Of course you are, sweetie," her mother said indulgently, still unconvinced that Alex was in a relationship with Lauren Graham. Her father was unconvinced that Lauren Graham even existed.

Sometimes Alex wondered why she hadn't yet disowned her entire family.

Chad had already arrived at the mansion and was nursing a bottle of Absinthe in the front parlor. "'Sup, bitches?" he asked in greeting as Alex re-introduced Lauren.

"No strippers this year?" Lauren asked. She turned to Alex. "You promised me there would be strippers."

"I like her," Chad said, nodding towards Lauren, or, more specifically, Lauren's breasts. "I would totally sleep with her behind your back, but I've already tried and she turned me down because she's a giant dyke, and I respect that."

"Thank you, Chad," said Alex, squeezing Lauren's hand to stop her from bursting out laughing. Chad was depressed over his mother's remarriage, which probably accounted for the lack of strippers. He'd declared himself to be a state of mourning last time Alex had stopped by his apartment. Anything could tip him over the edge and Chad crying was not something Alex was prepared to deal with, not today.

"She has excellent tits," Chad commented. "You are a lucky lady, big sister."

"I know I am," Alex said. "Now stop looking at them."

Date: 2010-12-13 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silverturtle87.livejournal.com
Oh Chad! You lovable cad! This is boss. Well done.

Date: 2010-12-20 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
Thanks! Chad would like to get in your pants!

Date: 2010-12-17 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fallon-ash.livejournal.com
This is awesome. I love it.

Date: 2010-12-20 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
Thanks! Chad loves your mom!

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