like there should be a word after it

[wizened_cynic]

I'm starting to find it glaringly obvious that the relationship between Rory and Lorelai can be pretty durn creepy. There is being best friends with your mom, and then there's talking about your first kiss in detail while your mom is totally excited and enthusiastic and desperate for every juicy detail. And then later on, doesn't Lorelai want Rory to talk to her before she has sex the first time? And even later on (Season 5?), Lorelai asks Rory what birth control she's using?

THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.

Whatever, Amy Sherman-Palladino. You're a creepy person who dresses creepily and you will never be able to write another successful show. I hate you for the last 2.5 seasons of GG. Go die.

Oh, speaking of mothers and daughters, here's a snippet of Quantum A.J.! that I wrote for thelastgoodname for that prompt meme way back when. It took forever, sorry. And it's rather heavily-focused on Alex's mother. Weird.

A.J.'s preschool holds a ceremony to celebrate the end of the school year, a midday affair that Alex will miss for an appearance in front of the grand jury. Alex's mother attends in her place, promising to capture every moment on camera.

"I've hired the person who did the cinematography for Slumdog Millionaire," her mother informs her the night before.

Surprised, Alex says, "I didn't know you've seen Slumdog Millionaire."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I haven't. Why would I want to subject myself to a movie about the plight of the impoverished?"

"Aren't you a real philanthropist."

Alex can picture her mother frowning into the telephone. "I don't appreciate what you're insinuating, Alexandra. I make sizable donations to various charities throughout the year and the DAR regularly holds functions to raise money for those less fortunate than us."

"I'm sorry, Mother."

"You're still mocking me, aren't you?"

"I'm not. I promise."

"You're a lawyer. You lie through your teeth."

"I do not. Here, I'll put A.J. on the phone. She'll tell you I'm not lying."

"It won't be necessary." Alex wonders if her mother is truly offended, or if she's simply caught onto the fact that Alex tends to shove the phone over to A.J. whenever she doesn't feel like talking. "I'll see her tomorrow. I don't suppose they will be serving drinks at this little get-together?"

"I sincerely doubt it."

Last time, when Alex went to the Mother's Day Brunch (which really should've been called the Friday Before Mother's Day Brunch), they had served a bowl of anemic-looking fruit punch and some wheat-free, egg-free, dairy-free cupcakes that A.J. took a bite of and proclaimed, "Di-custing."

Her mother sighs loudly. "Perhaps I'll bring a flask."

"Mother!"

"I was making a joke, dear. I would never bring a flask. I'd simply find a nice, widowed grandfather of one of Little Alexandra's classmates and ask for a drink from his."

"I'm not even sure I can find the appropriate words to respond to that."

"A-ha! Now we're even. Dinner is at seven; I expect you to be on time. We'll be having dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets."

"Should I dress up for that?"

"I would expect nothing less. See you tomorrow, Alex."

A.J. is waiting for her expectantly when Alex hangs up the phone. She's also covered in Magic Marker. Alex didn't even know she had Magic Markers in her apartment, just like she hadn't known that there were three dollars in change underneath her sofa, or that coins were considered a delicacy by the two-year-old set.

"Look!" A.J. says proudly, raising her scribbled-over arms. "I drawed on me."

"Well, at least you're honest about it."

Resigned, Alex scoops A.J. up and hauls her into the bathroom for clean up, fully realizing that the only reason why people put up with their children's messes is so they can torment them in thirty years.

"You just wait," Alex says, and begins to scrub.

Comments

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

There's actually a stock photo of these:

[baggers.livejournal.com]

I WANT TO EAT THEM.

actually, i want a child awesome enough to want to eat them with me.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

i want a child awesome enough not only to want to eat them with me, but to stage epic battles between various species using ketchup for blood and toothpicks to symbolize humankind destroying the natural order of things, and then eat them with me. then wash everything down with a tall glass of apple juice.

i need a quantum toddler.