wizened_cynic: (claire? claire!)
[personal profile] wizened_cynic
Hey, look! July has begun and so has my endeavor of month-long posting. I begin with a 20 minute instantficlet, in honor of Canada day, which I am spending studying MORONIC POINTLESS IMPOSSIBLE DOESN'T-MAKE-A-LICK-OF-SENSE commercial law. Not that I'm bitter or anything.





It's their third date. Alex thinks it may actually be their fourth, but what does she know? Until a minute ago, she wasn't even aware that they're on a date.

"I gave you flowers," Lorelai says, wounded.

"Made of chocolate," Alex says. "That you promptly ate."

"You don't like hazelnut," Lorelai says, which is true enough, Alex supposes, so she doesn't push the issue further. "So what do you think?"

"You're right. I don't like hazelnut."

"I mean, about the dead body."

Luke comes over and refills their coffee, the whole time muttering something about how he doesn't want to know, and please for the love of god don't elaborate.

Alex could never tell Lorelai this, but she'd seen more dead bodies than she could count on both hands. Both hands and both feet and probably even more than the number of times Lorelai made her watch the YouTube video of the baby panda sneezing on repeat. This one is different, though; it's been preserved in formaldehyde and traveling around the country since 1973.

"Come on." Lorelai folds her hands together and gives Alex her most pleading look. "You like museums."

"I do like museums," Alex says. "Of art."

"And the world's largest bottle of maple syrup!"

"You tricked me into going there."

"I needed to go to the bathroom!"

"Only when you saw the sign for homemade maple candy."

"It was both delicious and an important aspect of Canadian history."

"You went to Canada for maple candy?" Luke asks.

"Not on purpose," Alex says.

"Now we're really getting away from the topic," Lorelai says.

"If you're not careful, you might end up in Canada again," Luke says.

"If we do, I want to get a picture of that French-speaking moose this time," Lorelai says. "And Ellen Page. Not together of course, because what would a French-speaking moose be doing with Ellen Page?"

"Fine, I'll go," Alex says. She wonders when she started being the type of person who backs down in the face of adversity, instead of standing her ground and fighting her way through, armed with words and rhetoric.

Lorelai's smile is almost worth the defeat.




This was supposed to be longer, with Lorelai and Alex as chaperones for Lulu's third-grade fieldtrip to the museum, but my knee really hurts and obviously I write with my knee, so. FROWNYFACE.

Date: 2008-06-30 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Aw, when you write fic like this, I start to think getting shot was the best thing that ever happened to Alex, and I have hope for the universe. Or something. What happened to your knee?

Date: 2008-07-01 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
Lorelai Gilmore: she does a body good. That sounded better in my head. Anyway, thank you! And I don't know what happened to my knee, but I know it's not from masturbating.

Date: 2008-07-01 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcdoh1902.livejournal.com
Fic! I have absolutely no intention of watching SVU now...maybe just to see what the big deal over crying!Olivia is about.

Since America doesn't give a shit about other countries holidays, (except maybe Cinco de Mayo, which really isn't a holiday, because it gives people an excuse to skip class, and that's really only in SoCal) what the hell is Canada Day about, anyway?

Date: 2008-07-01 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
You're not living life unless you've seen crying!Olivia. Although I have no idea how one can go on so long WITHOUT having seen crying!Olivia. She's like global warming: SLOWLY SUFFOCATING OUR PLANET.

Canada Day is just our July 4th. Except I've only ever spent it in HK, so I don't really know what goes on except fireworks. And banks get a day off. July 1 is Handover Day in HK too, so I get a day off! To study commercial law! Whoopee!

Date: 2008-07-02 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theholyinnocent.livejournal.com
Getting caught up on my reading...ah, I do love Alex in Stars Hollow. And Canada. And maple candy. I even love Lorelai eating maple candy.

because what would a French-speaking moose be doing with Ellen Page?

I'm sure there's a fic about it somewhere...

Date: 2008-07-03 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
I am of the opinion that the French-speaking moose is Ellen Page's acting teacher. How else do you explain her lack of facial expression? (I hated Juno. HATE. In case that wasn't clear. How do you make a movie about teenage pregnancy so bad? SO BAD?)

Thank you! I love Alex in Stars Hollow too. Maple candy, not so much. Maple anything is not a favorite. I am a bad Canadian.

Date: 2008-07-03 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theholyinnocent.livejournal.com
I didn't see Juno, but the previews/trailers alone left me pretty underwhelmed. It looked too quirky for its own good.

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