sacriligion

[wizened_cynic]

DrummerJew2002: you two amuse me
wcynic: haha
wcynic: well you and i, we amuse the molly too
wcynic: and you and molly amuse me
wcynic: we're like ... the badass version of the holy trinity
DrummerJew2002: that's a hilariously true comparison
wcynic: you can be god but i call jesus
DrummerJew2002: that works
DrummerJew2002: what's the third?
DrummerJew2002: the ghost?
wcynic: yeah
wcynic: holy spirit
DrummerJew2002: holy spirit, batman!
wcynic: it sounds like a DRINK
wcynic: "i'd like a bottle of holy spirit please"
DrummerJew2002: "hey, barkeep, bring me a holy spirit"
wcynic: "mostly vodka with a dash of holy spirit"
DrummerJew2002: the jesus shooter
wcynic: now that's just dirty


DrummerJew2002: we should start a religion themed bar
DrummerJew2002: we could have all these religiously named drinks
wcynic: YES
wcynic: THE MOHAMMED
DrummerJew2002: mary magdalene on ice, also known as the holy whore colada
wcynic: the burning bush
wcynic: and it actually comes
wcynic: ON FIRE
DrummerJew2002: yes!
DrummerJew2002: our motto could be
DrummerJew2002: "come get drunk on religion"
wcynic: "you've found jesus --- on the rocks, with a twist"
Piper Rhiannon: Fucking. Genius. would a Virgin Mary be a Bloody Mary with no alcohol?
wcynic: and a cherry


I would apologize for offending anyone, but I wouldn't mean it, so let's just cut the bullshit.




Founder's Day Punch tastes like cotton candy and a molotov cocktail, tastes like the goddamn town itself, sweet and slow burning. It scorches your throat going down, but you can't stop yourself.

Your mother's dead, you learned this morning. He says he's sorry and you don't hear him when he starts talking about arrangements, you're too busy thinking about how fucked up this is: your mother got to go to your funeral and you don't get to go to hers.

You lose track of how many cups you drink, but in the distance you can hear Rory telling you to stop, Paris did this last year and it didn't end well. How did it end? You don't remember, Paris? I have no recollection of it. How did it end? You ran down the street barefoot and begged for change to call Doyle. Oh. Oh, it's coming back to me now. It didn't end well. No, it didn't.

You don't run down the street barefoot to call your mother (she's dead) or Olivia (you're dead) or anybody else, instead you end up on the floor of the bathroom, throwing up until you're pretty sure you could see all your insides in the toilet bowl, your heart, still beating, not knowing how to stop.

You've got vomit all over your shirt and Lorelai is saying, Claire, sweetie, arms up. We need to get you out of these clothes. She covers you with a towel and wipes your face with a wet cloth, and in the middle of a pedantic lecture on why Founder's Day Punch should not be drunk on an empty stomach, you tell her, My mother's dead.

Oh, Claire. Claire, she croons. She strokes your hair, rubs circles against your scalp, and you press your face against her stomach so you won't be able to feel yourself cry. Claire, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. How many years has it been?

Claire's mother's been dead for years, but Alex's mother died yesterday. I don't know, you say as she rubs up and down your arm, kisses your shoulder. I can't tell anymore.

Comments

[glitterberrys.livejournal.com]

I would apologize for offending anyone, but I wouldn't mean it, so let's just cut the bullshit.

See, this? This is why I adore you.

Among other reasons, of course.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Hey, if anybody is going to be Jesus around here...

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

just because you LOOK Like him doesn't mean you get first dibs!

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

But my first dibs were issued before time itself was born!

...

Well can I at least be some minor character with a beard then?

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

You could be Pontius Pilate. No, you could be LAZARUS. We'll kill you and bring you back to life. If we don't forget to tell the coroner not to embalm you.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

I doubt I could do a convincing Pilate. I'm just not civilised enough.

Lazarus works. Just, don't make me be Noah!

[glitterberrys.livejournal.com]

Hey, who invited Rainbow Jesus into the triumvirate? He already HAS his own cult!

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

ALL WILL BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP BEFORE MY CELESTIAL MAJESTY!

[julietcetera.livejournal.com]

mwahaha. I went to a shots party this weekend, if you'd posted this on saturday, I definitely would have brought a jesus shooter.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

aw, damn, bad timing. i'll figure out how to time travel and then send you back. how about that?

[julietcetera.livejournal.com]

hey, you found your snark!

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

... i was being sincere.

[julietcetera.livejournal.com]

ha! wow. that's... wow. you really have lost your touch, that was downright sweet of you. but I hope you get it back soon, this is definitely confusing.

[enigma00.livejournal.com]

Best sacreligious post ever!

I would totally drink something called The Holy Spirit.

I like the drabble. :)

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA, you haven't seen HALF the number of sacriligious conversations we've had.

Thanks!

[enigma00.livejournal.com]

Well then why the hell haven't you posted more of it?! C'mon, I live for that kind of stuff. :P

No worries. :)

[thebword.livejournal.com]

Oh God, I've missed out on so many little ficlets while on my month-long finals sabbatical. I've missed your crack pairing so much. I swear I dreamed about Lorelai and Alex while desperately trying to relearn the ten tenses that I had to know for my final in Spanish (honestly, who wouldn't? Screw the tenses, bring on the crack!fic) But I realise that if I had continually checked your journal daily for a fic, I would've never gotten any work done.

Now, onto fic crit. This drabble was so sad. The way you wrote it (no actual dialogue, no overt descriptions, merely thoughts and actions) made each word seem more powerful.

you're too busy thinking about how fucked up this is: your mother got to go to your funeral and you don't get to go to hers

That made me want to give Alex a big hug. She needs it.

Claire's mother's been dead for years, but Alex's mother died yesterday. I don't know, you say as she rubs up and down your arm, kisses your shoulder. I can't tell anymore.

Also very sad. She's in this crazy new world with no hold on anything but Lorelai (at times) and now her old world just made her new world even more fucked up. Alex needs to have happy sex to forget all the crap that she has (had?) to go through.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude, TEN tenses? That's crazy shit, yo. Hope everything went all right with that.

And thanks, glad you liked this and that my writing style works for you, because I am a lazy fucker when it comes to description and dialogue so I just omit them altogether.

[thebword.livejournal.com]

Well, then keep being lazy. It pays off.

Actually, I was told that I learned twenty tenses, but only knew of ten, and only really knew one (the present, which we learned on the first day of the first level of the course). I'm awful at learning languages.

Now I'm off to a country known as Belgium that masquerades itself as a sweet little chocolate manufacturer, where in all honesty, it's a little shit hole with conservative grannies (particularly mine), expensive-as-shit dial-up internet, and budding little tennis-star wannabes. I'll save my flattery for your crack fic until I get back (I suggest writing a fic where Alex learned that someone from her little group of lawyer minions die. So she can actually laugh about it. And I can leave loads of ego-building feedback).

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha ... but the chocolates! The chocolates! How long will you be staying there? I will be off to Hong Kong in a week, thus there will be now crackfic in the forseeable future so to speak of. But definitely lots of K-dramas.