Admittedly, sometimes Lorelai tends to pick a random fight with Claire simply because the makeup sex is so awesome, but this is one of those times where the fight is actually grounded in merit. As in, the only form of communication in the next few days will be through angry Post Its on the refrigerator door and Miss Patty or Babette begging them to patch things up because it's upsetting Kirk too much.
"I understand that you're mad at me," Claire says, interrupting Lorelai's vision of her future self (future by 24 hours) telling Kirk to get a saline drip because those tears are going to keep on flowing.
"I'm not mad at you," Lorelai says. "And by the way, that was not an apology."
"Well, if you're not mad at me, then why should I apologize?"
"FINE," says Lorelai, as close to yelling as she can get without actually yelling, because whoever yells first loses, "I'm mad at you, are you happy? I'm so freaking mad at you that I should make you live in a box."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"That's what Joey did to Chandler until he understood his reasons, and they were threefold!"
They stop at a red light, and Claire turns around to glare at her. "I am not in the mood for this, Lorelai. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to Friday Night Dinner, but I had the longest, most frustrating day at work and no, I could not leave a few minutes early because I had to tell Steele that he has to make a deal with an algebra teacher who's been pimping out his ninth graders. Yes, he had a hissy fit about it. He's like a toddler with anger management issues."
"All toddlers have anger management issues."
Claire rolls her eyes. "I stand corrected."
They can breathe easier now, Lorelai's not sure if it's because they've actually rolled down the windows.
"I hate your job," Lorelai says at last. She waits for Claire to admit that Claire hates her job too, but it doesn't happen.
They drive in silence, until they reach their exit and Claire says, "I talked to Jack about transferring to Appeals."
"I don't know what that means."
"That's from Bones," Claire points out, and Lorelai has to smile.
"You do pay attention!"
"I'm full of surprises."
"But none of them involves a pony, which suddenly sounds really dirty in my head but I'm still mad at you, so let's not go there. For now."
"Look, I can't promise you I'll make it to every Friday Night Dinner," Claire says. "There will be days when I have to work late, and there will be other days, when I really don't want to deal with your mother."
"Totally with you on the second part."
"But I'll try my hardest to make it there and then pretend to be having a good time. This is the best I can do."
"Well," Lorelai says, "you don't have to pretend to have a good time. I don't."
"Yes, well." Claire was quiet.
"Did I just make you speechless?" Lorelai asks, her astonishment growing.
"I'm tired."
"I just made you, Miss Big Shot McProsecuty Lawyer, speechless."
"McProsecuty Lawyer?"
"I like adjectives. And fast food. And I just realized that McProsecuty sounds like McProse-cutie. Which is hilarious and completely mockable."
"Since I'm now hilarious and completely mockable, does that mean I'm forgiven?"
"There is ample precedent that's how things go around here," says Lorelai, who's starting to feel like a jerk. Mostly justified, but still a jerk.
"You pay attention too," Claire notes, impressed.
"I do, even though I hate your job. But you know what I hate even more than your job? Fighting with you over your job. Because fighting totally cuts into time which we could be using to have sex."
"You're overlooking the point that fighting makes the sex so much better, which I'm assuming is why you constantly pick those stupid fights with me."
"There is nothing stupid about the injustice of you not letting me use both TiVos to tape Wizards of Waverly Place and Dexter."
"I was merely suggesting that you could delete a few episodes after you've seen them."
"But then I wouldn't have the complete season forever enshrined and available for my viewing pleasure whenever I feel like it."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-03-10 05:43 pm (UTC)"I understand that you're mad at me," Claire says, interrupting Lorelai's vision of her future self (future by 24 hours) telling Kirk to get a saline drip because those tears are going to keep on flowing.
"I'm not mad at you," Lorelai says. "And by the way, that was not an apology."
"Well, if you're not mad at me, then why should I apologize?"
"FINE," says Lorelai, as close to yelling as she can get without actually yelling, because whoever yells first loses, "I'm mad at you, are you happy? I'm so freaking mad at you that I should make you live in a box."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"That's what Joey did to Chandler until he understood his reasons, and they were threefold!"
They stop at a red light, and Claire turns around to glare at her. "I am not in the mood for this, Lorelai. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to Friday Night Dinner, but I had the longest, most frustrating day at work and no, I could not leave a few minutes early because I had to tell Steele that he has to make a deal with an algebra teacher who's been pimping out his ninth graders. Yes, he had a hissy fit about it. He's like a toddler with anger management issues."
"All toddlers have anger management issues."
Claire rolls her eyes. "I stand corrected."
They can breathe easier now, Lorelai's not sure if it's because they've actually rolled down the windows.
"I hate your job," Lorelai says at last. She waits for Claire to admit that Claire hates her job too, but it doesn't happen.
They drive in silence, until they reach their exit and Claire says, "I talked to Jack about transferring to Appeals."
"I don't know what that means."
"That's from Bones," Claire points out, and Lorelai has to smile.
"You do pay attention!"
"I'm full of surprises."
"But none of them involves a pony, which suddenly sounds really dirty in my head but I'm still mad at you, so let's not go there. For now."
"Look, I can't promise you I'll make it to every Friday Night Dinner," Claire says. "There will be days when I have to work late, and there will be other days, when I really don't want to deal with your mother."
"Totally with you on the second part."
"But I'll try my hardest to make it there and then pretend to be having a good time. This is the best I can do."
"Well," Lorelai says, "you don't have to pretend to have a good time. I don't."
"Yes, well." Claire was quiet.
"Did I just make you speechless?" Lorelai asks, her astonishment growing.
"I'm tired."
"I just made you, Miss Big Shot McProsecuty Lawyer, speechless."
"McProsecuty Lawyer?"
"I like adjectives. And fast food. And I just realized that McProsecuty sounds like McProse-cutie. Which is hilarious and completely mockable."
"Since I'm now hilarious and completely mockable, does that mean I'm forgiven?"
"There is ample precedent that's how things go around here," says Lorelai, who's starting to feel like a jerk. Mostly justified, but still a jerk.
"You pay attention too," Claire notes, impressed.
"I do, even though I hate your job. But you know what I hate even more than your job? Fighting with you over your job. Because fighting totally cuts into time which we could be using to have sex."
"You're overlooking the point that fighting makes the sex so much better, which I'm assuming is why you constantly pick those stupid fights with me."
"There is nothing stupid about the injustice of you not letting me use both TiVos to tape Wizards of Waverly Place and Dexter."
"I was merely suggesting that you could delete a few episodes after you've seen them."
"But then I wouldn't have the complete season forever enshrined and available for my viewing pleasure whenever I feel like it."
"Why are we still discussing this?!"
Yeah, the makeup sex is going to be awesome.