wizened_cynic: (Alex Junior)
[personal profile] wizened_cynic
I'm not only on time today, but almost early. I think this prompt table thing is an excellent exercise. It really appeals to the obsessive-compulsive part of me.

Shenanigans with Quantum A.J.



The competition didn't end after law school. This much is obvious as Alex watches Charlotte Bingham's son handle his plastic fork and spoon with the finesse of a neurosurgeon while her own daughter blindly stabs at her plate and inflicts serious harm upon her tater tots.

"James took an etiquette class," Charlotte says. As if she were aware of how ridiculous an etiquette class for a three-year-old sounds, she adds, "My mother-in-law enrolled him in it. I thought, what the hell? Bought me free afternoons two days a week."

It is worse, somehow, Charlotte being so blase' about this. If she actually believed in the value of teaching toddlers how to wine and dine with grace (or just dine, Alex hopes), if she bragged about James's achievements in working around his dinner plate instead of shrugging it off, Alex might actually feel better. Right now she just feels snubbed and she can't even begrudge Charlotte about it. It isn't Charlotte's fault that A.J.'s fine motor skills aren't as well-developed as her son's.

"Mommy," A.J. calls, holding up her ketchup-sticky hands. "Wipe me."

"Let me," Charlotte says before Alex can even wrestle the packet of Wet Ones from her purse. The whole time Charlotte wipes her hands, A.J. stares at her, moon-eyed, and when Charlotte finishes, A.J. turns to Alex and Alex swears the look on the child's face is one asking, "Why is this nice lady not my mother?"

"This is so much fun, Alex," Charlotte exclaims as they herd their respective toddlers out of the restaurant. "We should do this more often! Now that the twins are in school and James is doing pre-K, I have a lot more time on my hands. How about next weekend? You two can come over. James would love to show A.J. his toys, won't you, James?"

"Actually, I have to go back to work next week," Alex says before Charlotte's child can reveal his love of sharing with the less fortunate that would undoubtedly put Mother Teresa to shame.

Charlotte's face crumbles in disappointment, and Alex has to look away, the sudden display of emotion is too much for her to bear. She gives Charlotte a moment to regain herself, and Charlotte does; she's always bounced back quickly, whether from a bad breakup or a bad grade on a final.

"Oh, that's too bad. Well. Give me a call when you're free and we can arrange a little get-together. Say bye-bye, James."

"Bye," James says.

In an amazing display of age-appropriate social behavior, A.J. replies, "Bye."

On their way home, they stop at a Starbucks, where it's still early enough in the afternoon that the line is still a reasonable length. Alex makes her order and asks for a steamed milk for A.J.

A.J. tugs at Alex's skirt, whispering something inaudible above the frantic demands of the caffeine-addict beside her.

"What is it, A.J.?" Alex asks.

"I SAID, WITH A SHOT OF HAZELNUT."

"You still have to learn to use a fork properly," Alex reminds her as A.J. hurtles her way towards a free table, but A.J. is already far ahead and if she already knows how to order fancy beverages at overpriced coffee bars, Alex has a good feeling that A.J. will stay that way.

Because you like it when i praise you

Date: 2008-09-13 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siroas.livejournal.com
It was awesome and sweet and I loved it. The hazelnut line was hilarious and cute at the same time.

I do, I really do

Date: 2008-09-13 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
Thank you. Quantun A.J. FTW!!!!

Date: 2008-09-13 08:49 pm (UTC)
thatfangirl: (Default)
From: [personal profile] thatfangirl
Excellent. The end with the hazelnut--you crack me up. (Although, as per our conversation on GMail, I'm having these Alex/The Right Stuff crack thoughts.)

Date: 2008-09-13 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drummer-jew2002.livejournal.com
Your subject title is made of win.

Date: 2008-09-13 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
Thank you! And clearly, we should have more conversations on Gmail.

Date: 2008-09-13 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
It's legen --- wait for it and I hope you're not lactose intolerant --- DARY.

You don't watch How I Met Your Mother? Why don't you watch How I Met Your Mother?

Date: 2008-09-14 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hostile-driver.livejournal.com
You get awesome points for this one, CD.

Date: 2008-09-14 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
Awww, thanks, BP!

Date: 2008-09-14 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drummer-jew2002.livejournal.com
I tried. I hate laugh tracks. So, so much.

Did you know that Katee Sackhoff is going to be the lead in the new Dick Wolf show? Did you know Dick Wolf has a new show?

Date: 2008-09-14 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
I totally don't notice the laugh tracks anymore. Whatevers.

I do know and the show will probably be axed after 6 episodes. Remember Conviction?

Date: 2008-09-14 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drummer-jew2002.livejournal.com
I do now.





Whore.

Date: 2008-09-15 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teh-faolkitty.livejournal.com
belated comment? but I love Quantum A.J. best out of all your a.u.-verse/cracky shit fic.

of course, I was going to say that about SPN-verse yesterday and Claire in Stars Hollow the day before that, but I think I mean it most of all for A.J.

Date: 2008-09-15 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
hey, now, comments of the praisin' nature are never too late. really, you like quantum a.j. even more than claire? interesting. i was just telling thrace_ that if i ever do write an original novel, it will be a thinly-veiled diluted version of quantum a.j. who doesn't love playground shenanigans?

Date: 2008-09-15 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
and also, THANK YOU, because i do have manners and wasn't raised by wolves or something
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