I'd consider following Christ if he was on Twitter

[wizened_cynic]

Okay, people, BEST FIC MEME EVER.

1. Pick a card on someecards.com. Any card.

2. I will write something for you based on that e-card. I pick the pairing/characters, so you may end up with Alex/Lorelai, or you may end up with Ben babysitting drunk!Stephanie, or you may end up with CHAD. Isn't that delightful? (If anything with Chad can ever be delightful.)

Okay? DO IT DO IT DO IT.

I promise to actually write for the prompts this time.



Give me something to do while I wait for Canadian SVU and Parenthood?

ALSO, PLEASE VOTE FOR LORELAI GILMORE. I love Bones, but THERE IS NO CONTEST. A VOTE FOR LORELAI IS A VOTE FOR SHINY HAIR AND AWESOME BOOBS, WHICH I JUST REALIZED ALSO APPLIES TO BONES, BUT LET'S JUST OVERLOOK THAT FOR A MOMENT AND CONCENTRATE ON VOTING FOR LORELAI. KTHXBAI.

Comments

[kennedyismyhero.livejournal.com]

 It's been too long...so I politely request this: 



or this: 

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

It's really been a while. How are things going with you?

*

(This is a random AU in which Alex is the meanest candy-striper in the world.)

The nurse in charge had suggested that it would be nice if Alex could show a little empathy, but Alex found it exceedingly difficult to do so, considering how many of the patients were only in the hospital because of their own epic stupidity.

"This one's going to make a great doctor," Nurse Espinoza said to her friend, the Fat One Who Loves Jesus. To Alex, she said, "Head over to Pediatrics. They need someone to hand out more crayons. Ralphie's been eating them again."

If there was anything Alex hated more than sick people, it was sick kids. They were loud and whiny and insistent on touching everything and some of them probably had the plague.

Crayons were distributed to each bed with a stern warning that they were not food and Alex assumed she was done for the day when someone at the end of the room heckled.

"Hey, you forgot my crayons."

Alex stared at the girl, who, in addition to having two broken arms, also happened to be Alex's age. "You want crayons?"

"You gave them to everyone else."

"You have two broken arms. And you're sixteen."

"Fifteen and three-quarters, and my wrist can still take a bit of action."

Alex decided she didn't care enough to argue. "Go crazy," she added, placing several Crayolas on the table. She glanced at the girl's chart long enough to find out her name was Lorelai Gilmore.

She was about to leave when she heard something fall, and then Lorelai was calling for her. "Candy Striper, can you pick that up for me?"

Alex rolled her eyes and walked back to Lorelai's bed. She picked up the stray crayon and placed it back on the table. "Anything else?"

"How about a smile?" Lorelai asked gleefully.

Alex made sure none of the other kids were looking and then gave her the finger.

She was less than two feet away when she heard an exaggerated, "Oops! Dropped it again! Hey, Candy Striper, can you ---"

Alex walked back, picked up the crayon, tried very hard not to slam it onto the table, and turned around only in time for the crayon to fall right at her feet. Lorelai was grinning so hard her face might break, and if that happened, Alex was sure as hell not going to page anybody.

"What is wrong with you?" Alex snapped.

"There are many things wrong with me," Lorelai answered soberly. "It could take a while. For starters, I genuinely enjoy any activity in which you bend over."

Alex blinked. And then, because she had no idea how to react to being hit on by obnoxious girls with broken arms who like to cause her pain, she grabbed all the crayons away from Lorelai and stomped out of the room.

She was halfway down the hall and could still hear Lorelai yelling, "Snack time is in an hour! I'll see you then."

[nike-ravus.livejournal.com]

This has improved my morning exponentially.


:D

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'll get to yours soon, it'll be next after I do the MILF one. These are taking longer than I thought.

[nike-ravus.livejournal.com]

Dude, you're producing fic. I have no complaints. :)

[mayireadtoday.livejournal.com]

"many of the patients were only in the hospital because of their own epic stupidity." -- Alex and House must be cousins.

"For starters, I genuinely enjoy any activity in which you bend over."

"she had no idea how to react to being hit on by obnoxious girls with broken arms who like to cause her pain" -- Oh, teenage love.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

I swear to fucking god I replied to this comment, but apparently LJ ate it or something. Anyway. Back in 2006 (I think), I took a picture of a building near my dad's office because its name is perfect and the sign reads ALEXANDRA HOUSE.

Wife? Long-lost daughter? Half-sister? Cousin, as you suggest? YOU BE THE JUDGE.

Teenage Alex's life is pain.

[kennedyismyhero.livejournal.com]

And this is a prime example of when I hate LJ. There was a reply I had all typed out, but drowning in typos so when I went back to correct them, it decided I wanted to post and then somehow ate it in one graceful swoop. Hopefully you see the first comment cause it's stupid o'clock in the morning and I forget what exactly I said, hence all the typos. Somehing about graduating, leaving this godforsaken state, and you finally having your own kid to obsess over. Whatever. This is exactly why I only lurk on LJ these days.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

No worries, I got the original message. Moving to DC sounds exciting. A lot less cold at the very least. As for having my own kid, it probably won't happen for a while ... or ever. Unless science finally make parthenogenesis possible. Even then, it'll be super expensive and I'm too cheap. I love babies, but I also love money. In other news, my life is still boring, I am still neither employed nor officially in school, and I am still watching SVU because I make terrible choices.

[mayireadtoday.livejournal.com]

Alex was briefly married to a Dr. Gregory House. She even changed her name. She doesn't talk about it.

[metalphoenix.livejournal.com]

I kind of really want this 'verse to continue. I enjoy obnoxious!Lorelai and exasperated!Alex so much <3

[annapie.livejournal.com]

This just made me very happy!