wizened_cynic | (no subject)

metalphonenix and I couldn't resolve the matter on our own, so I'm taking it to livejournal. Basically, WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE AT HOME?

[Poll #1408157]

You can't choose Completely Naked Lorelai or I Don't Care As Long As She Keeps Her Mouth Shut Lorelai. Those are not options. She can either be pantsless or shirtless. Nothing else.

I'm still making my way through the first 6 seasons of GG and dear god, it has the most annoying music IN THE WORLD. The strummy la-la background music and the themesong that NEVER STOPS PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD. Jesus fuck.

Blah, because I'm bored and there's nothing on TV, let's play that game where you pick one of my fics and give me a timestamp before or after (say, 6 weeks before, or 5 minutes after, whatevs), and I will try to write something. Tags list to your left, and I will do Arrested Quantico or any of my weirdass AUs (SPN, Oregon Trail, Ocean's 11, etc.), but not JOA or Alex squared. Sorry,

onlyjustwhisper.

Come on, people. Poe implores you to entertain me!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Shirtless, because people who have shirts on but no pants look weird to me.

SPN AU, after Alex gets murderfied for being devil spawn.

Research shows that couples who lose a child have a divorce rate of over 80 percent. Research doesn't say anything about the divorce rate for couples who lose a child because one half of that couple had to murder said child in order to save humankind from fire and brimstone and demons, including and not limited to the ladies from The View.

In any case, Dad and Daddy aren't married, so they can't get divorced, so at least Lorelai doesn't have to worry about becoming a statistic. It's bad enough she's a twinless twin.

Research also shows that twinless twins are five times more likely to become alcoholic, lose their jobs, attempt suicide, and experience being haunted by the restless souls of their former twins. At least according to the support group anyway. You can visit their website at www.twinlesstwinssupportgroup.org

So far Lorelai has dipped her toes into all of those things, sort of. She's not an alcoholic yet, but only because she's so busy not having a job anymore. She didn't lose her job as a hunter; she quit, because there's no point anyway, and she hasn't found time to commit suicide in between eating her weight in Tollhouse cookie dough (her grief speaks through her stomach) and calling her dads every hour to make sure they are still together. They don't necessarily have to be speaking to each other, as long as they're still together.

As for the haunting, well, it's a lie. It's a big fat lie perpetrated by twinless twins in positions of power, who prey on other twinless twins that are innocent and unsuspecting and sleep all day so they can stay awake all night and wait for their twin to come back and tell them that they're okay, they're back, they'll never leave again.

All lies, people, lies, and Lorelai so regrets making an account on the forum and sharing an edited-to-PG version of her story with the others, and when they reply telling her that they understand and that it's okay to grieve and feel better soon, she feels like reaching into her laptop and blasting them all in the face with rock salt because, god, they end their posts with "take care" and then a colon and a closing parenthesis, and Alex wouldn't have stood for that shit. She wouldn't have.

But she's dead, dead dead dead, and Dad and Daddy are probably getting separated, and Lorelai is all alone, a twinless twin, a child of divorce, with nobody to turn to except for people who tell her to take care, smiley face.

This makes me so sad.

I am now melancholy. It is not unpleasant.

Not my fault. Blame

azurejay!

COLON OPEN PARENTHESIS, JO, COLON OPEN PARENTHESIS