wizened_cynic: (Beezus - chocolate)
2013-03-17 11:38 pm

A miniature Ed Kemper in the making

So for the last couple of months, I've been forcing myself to write every weekend. Mostly it's fluffy babyfic and other self-induglent shenanigans involving Beatrice Rossi, just stuff to keep myself and a handful of buddies entertained.

For whatever reason, today [livejournal.com profile] amichevole intimidated me into writing a ficlet that I ended up liking a lot, oddly enough. And therefore I am going to post it here, because I can, and because I know there are still, like, three of you who like it when I write kidfic.

Here it goes: Emily and her daughter having a meaningful conversation about babies, explosions, and hitting other people.

Title from Loudon Wainwright, the lyrics of which are so obviously slapped together out of desperation, but you gotta give him credit since nothing rhymes with daughter except manslaughter. The formatting is all fucked up because, well, let's just blame Livejournal for it since it's responsible for most of the problems in the world.

everything she takes (she takes apart) )
wizened_cynic: (CM - beezus)
2012-10-02 11:05 pm

here's a balloon for you

So. Since about a month ago I've been writing this insanely schmoopy kidfic universe where Rossi and Prentiss have a baby. I would tell you more, but seriously, at this point those of you lesbians who are still reading this journal are either laughing at me or rolling your eyes or probably both, so let's just not go there.

Anyway, I made someone cry yesterday and then, in an uncharacteristic moment of empathy, I actually felt bad about it. Plus it's been a while since I've written kidfic from the POV of a kid, which you assholes know I love to do, so this happened.

Tomorrow We'll Go to the Fair )

Except fuck me, man. Tomorrow I'm going to COURT.

wizened_cynic: (alex - pensive)
2012-07-16 11:28 pm

build a ladder to the stars

Hey, remember how in 2003, everyone was writing SVU fic, and I waited until 2006 to do it? And then! Remember how in 2007, everyone was writing Criminal Minds fic, and I was writing SVU fic?

GUESS WHAT? It's 2012 and I am finally writing Criminal Minds fic!

Yeah, I don't know, I started this when I was on vacation and I managed to have no internet connection, no USB, and pretty much no way of transferring a word document off my 9-year-old computer, so I had to write it by hand. The bitch of it is, there are 13 parts to it, and goddamn by part 3 I was not only bored but also suffered from repetitive stress injury. Maybe someday I'll finish parts 4 to 13, but for now here's 1 to 3.

I probably should've mentioned this earlier, but this is the Criminal Minds AU that is a loose adaptation (really quite loose, I'd even say) of Gilmore Girls. I probably should mention this now, but there are totally Rossi/Prentiss overtones to it. Sorry, dude. Otherwise it is perfectly safe gen.


where you lead, i will follow

13 ways of looking at Emily Prentiss as a mother

1 | 2 | 3

ETA 5 August 2012 - I am literally too fucking lazy to do all the formatting here, so this fic from now on is only being updated at AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/461251


Look, I almost made it to the end of a whole post without bitching about how much I hate my job!
wizened_cynic: (SM2 (annapie))
2012-04-30 12:04 am

like trying to hold a wolf by the ears

I don't know what this is. I really wanted to write about babies. My co-worker brought hers to work and he was so fucking cute, this happened.

For clarification, this is Criminal Minds gen, with a minor dash of Emily/JJ towards the end. Jesus, you think after 9 years, I'd be better at this.

five times emily prentiss was almost somebody's mother )

It's like 80% angst, 15% schmoop, and 5% WHAT THE FUCK CYNIC. You are warned. (Seriously, it's like 1/5 Gilmore Girls AU, 1/5 Supernatural AU, 1/5 Doyle-arc which might as well be a fucking AU.)

Now up and ready at AO3 so I can whore myself out for more comments! YAY!

wizened_cynic: (CM - arrested quantico)
2009-05-28 08:53 pm

i heard you, i just didn't care

So I said I would be less emo in this post. Well, here's my best effort at being snarky and, hopefully, slightly cheery at least. I wish I could take all the credit for this, but [livejournal.com profile] thrace_ shared some of her awesomeness with me and was instrumental in the conception of this ... I don't even know what you call it. Except AWESOME.

Criminal Minds @ fmylife.com )

I could really use some cake right now. Or cookies.