10 seconds in and we already had a reference to estoppel

[wizened_cynic]

BAAAAAAAAAAH. I am trapped in an 8-hour CPD course on Commercial Drafting because I need the requisite 15 points a year, and the person teaching it was my Commercial Law professor whose exam I nearly failed. You know what, bitchface? THERE'S NO EXAM FOR THIS COURSE AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION. Especially since I am not a commercial lawyer! HA! I WIN.

Except for the part where I am bored out of my mind.

Sooooooooooo, if any of you give me a prompt, I will try to write something within these 8 hours of fucking COMMERCIAL DRAFTING HELL. Realistically I can only write SVU/GG, RPS, Criminal Minds, or if you dare to, original fic that probably begins with "She owes me 27 blowjobs."

I am so bored I actually wish I were doing work.

ETA: Filled prompts. The lecture was a complete fucking disaster, btw. I was prepared to give my ex-prof a fairly pleasant review, but she complained that my computer was "making too much noise" and wouldn't let me use it, so naturally I had to call her a bitch on the course evaluation. AND SHE CAN'T DO DICK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I AM NOT HER STUDENT ANYMORE.

CWRPS, Chad comes to Alex for legal advice, for silverturtle87
CMRPS Office AU, Erica Messer's idea of a team-building exercise, for kennedyismyhero
Cookie!Verse, FormerlyGingerbread!Lorelai discovers Halloween, for aygul
CM/SVU babyverses, Quantum A.J. versus Beezus, for mayireadtoday

Comments

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

LOL, I love how you have to specify. Okay, here goes.

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Alex never had much of a social life to begin with, not since she started work at the D.A.'s office, so having A.J. now might actually be an improvement for her, socially. Sundays are now spent in Central Park, or the Museum of Natural History, or sitting on the floor of the children's section of the bookstore, reading aloud to A.J.

A.J.'s favorite books are the ones about that irritating pigeon who wants to drive a bus, notwithstanding the lack of opposable thumbs. She loves the pigeon so much that even though they have all the goddamn books at home, she still insists on hunting them down whenever they go to Barnes & Nobles.

By now, A.J. knows her way around the bookstore and as soon as they are inside, she darts off and leaves Alex in the dust in the New Arrivals. There's a new book by David Rossi, whom Alex has heard of but never met. Alex's mother is a fan, which Alex finds a little bit odd, but at least she isn't into those teenage vampire novels, or Alex would have to consider disowning her.

Alex suddenly feels a tug on her shirt and glances down to find A.J. looking upset.

"I was coming to find you," Alex reassures her. "Do you want to read the pigeon now?"

A.J.'s lower lip quivers. "We can't," she says in despair. She grabs Alex's hand and leads her to the children's section, where Alex immediately understands the problem.

A brunette woman is in their usual place with her daughter, who looks a little younger than A.J. --- it's weird how good Alex has gotten at guessing children's ages --- and they are reading The Duckling Gets a Cookie.. (The Duckling, by the way, is a manipulative sociopath, while the Pigeon probably has bipolar disorder or a mild form of Asperger's.) This is causing indescribable angst for A.J., apparently.

"We can read another one." Alex points at the shelf filled with Mo Willem's books. "There are lots."

"I WANT TO READ THAT ONE," A.J. says, loud enough for the woman and her daughter to hear.

Before Alex could tell her daughter to shush, the other little girl looks up and shouts, "MY BOOK. MINE. NOT YOURS."

A.J. looks at Alex, as if she expects Alex to do something, as if Alex had been trained in law school how to deal with toddler confrontations over a book about a goddamn pigeon.

The brunette turns around, takes another copy of the shelf, and holds it towards Alex, who gratefully accepts. Alex settles down with A.J. on the other side of the room, A.J. and the other girl glaring at each other the whole time.

But the lure of the pigeon is too much, and two-year-olds, thankfully, have the attention spans of gnats, so soon A.J. is immersed in the Duckling's latest adventures, while Alex contemplates nominating that woman for the Nobel peace prize.

[mayireadtoday.livejournal.com]

AWESOME!

A question on the last paragraph: "But the lure of the pigeon is too much" I thought both A.J. and Beatrice are listening to their mothers reading a book about a duckling.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

It is very sad that I know this, but the book Alex and Emily are reading to their (respective) daughters is part of the pigeon series. The Duckling has a cookie which the Pigeon loses his shit about (why doesn't he have a cookie? He wants a damn cookie. WITH NUTS) and in the end Duckling tells him, "I got the cookie for you!" and the Pigeon is super thrilled but because he has, like, Asperger's or something he doesn't feel like a douche for having treated the Duckling like shit, not that it matters because the Duckling is totally a manipulative sociopath and gets another cookie for himself WITHOUT NUTS.

I hope that answers your question. I really need to have a kid, I swear to god.

P.S. If you want to read more about Beatrice's love affair with the pigeon, go here (http://cmrossiprentiss.livejournal.com/94059.html#comments).

[mayireadtoday.livejournal.com]

Yes, that does explain things. Thank you. Also, that sounds like a very crappy book series. I hated the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" myself where the mouse in question is a sociopath also.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Actually, I love Mo Willems and I can see why young children would enjoy the Pigeon books. But as an adult, the Pigeon's kind of a giant pain in the ass. I like his other books better, like Elephant and Piggie and Knuffle Bunny.

I dislike "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" because there's really no plot to it. Also, if you give a mouse a cookie, IT WILL DIE. I had to be very careful about what I fed my hamsters.

[mayireadtoday.livejournal.com]

Also, if you give a mouse a cookie, IT WILL DIE. I had to be very careful about what I fed my hamsters.

Look at you bringing in logic and reality :)