You will beg for mercy, when I own you in the FACE

[wizened_cynic]

I FINISHED ALL THE PROMPTS FOR THE BEST MEME EVER. Yeah, I didn't think I would, seriously. And a lot of them suck because I have forgotten how to write.

The masterlist is here.

My personal favorite is the one I wrote for eolan that none of you will understand unless you have used the textbooks for OXFORD LATIN COURSE. I am laughing just typing about this.

2. I forgot to thank you all for all the lovely shit you wrote in the Holiday Love Meme. So. Thank you. I would whore myself out for more love, except it's not about quantity, it's about quality. And size. And length. But I digress.

3. In case I don't resurface in the next few days, Merry Christmas to all of you and a non-shitty new year!!!!

Comments

[silverturtle87.livejournal.com]

I really liked all of the ficlets for THE BEST MEME EVER. They were ace, and so are you.

In case you don't resurface (and holy shit is Christmas really only 5 days away..FUUUUUUUU, guess who's not giving out presents this year?) MERRY CHRISTMAS. You're awesome. Have a great holiday period. Chase your grandma-roach (or, alternatively, give her a sugar cube) and watch out for people around you getting coffee-crotched.

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you! *manly fistbumps*

Yeah, we killed grandma-roach. She's going to have to come back as something else next time.

I never give out presents and in fact, my mom's sister decided to kick us out of the annual Christmas party, using my dead grandmother as an excuse. My dad, my brother and I didn't want to go anyway, so it works well for us, but my mom is disappointed (she loves her extended family; they hate us and we hate them back and generally want them dead) so we're stepping up from coffee crotch: we're now wishing that my 19-year-old dumbshit cousin (daughter of the aunt and uncle who uninvited us) gets knocked up by that deadbeat boyfriend of hers.

The moral of the story is: don't mess my family. We will fuck you up.

It'll be a pretty good Christmas, actually. Thanks! I hope you get some good presents!

[silverturtle87.livejournal.com]

Sorry, but I'm still coffee-crotching your mom's sister (taken out of context that is a really weird thing to say...). Sorry your mom is disappointed. So, I'm now sending impregnation mojo at your cousin?...OKAY! Or should it be fertility mojo? Or broken condom mojo? Whatever! ALL OF IT!

But I'm messing with you family, sort of, and I really don't want to get messed up. I'm damaged enough, thanks. Lol.

Good! I'm glad you'll have a good Christmas. Heaven knows you deserve one. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, lady!

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

Actually I doubt it was my aunt's idea to be a bitch; it's her husband. So coffee crotch him! Although that may not be necessary. He has two daughters and no sons, and that is punishment enough for a Chinese dude. But yes! Fertility and/or broken condom and/or not pulling out in time mojo would be awesome!

Oh, I mean my immediately family. I don't give a fuck about uncles and aunts and cousins and what not. Feel free to mess with them. I promise not to mess you over.

[silverturtle87.livejournal.com]

Alright, the messing will commence! Coffee-crotch to the husband, along with hearty laughs for siring only daughters (even though daughters are way better anyway) and pregnancy mojo to the cousin.

I wouldn't mess with your immediate family, they sound pretty cool.