wizened_cynic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wizened_cynic) wrote2010-12-02 05:15 pm
wizened_cynic) wrote2010-12-02 05:15 pm
I want you to have something I don't need anymore
Holy shit, I haven't been here in forever!
I'm still alive (barely) and am three exams down. Two more to go.
On a happy note, I did not fail the awful oral submissions thing where I was almost in contempt of court. I didn't get a great mark, but I ain't complaining, considering I seriously thought I would fail because I wasn't allowed to argue LAW so I had no idea how they were supposed to assess me.
On an even happier note, I totally motherfucking pwned my plea in mitigation for Criminal Litigation. Like, honestly, it was the punched-it-in-the-face-and-then-got-its-girlfriend-pregnant-by-mystical-powers-of-fpreg kind of pwned.
To celebrate my survival of this insane term, I'm bringing back, for the holidays, the BEST FIC MEME EVER.
Rules:
1. Pick a card on someecards.com. Any card.It doesn't even have to anything to do with Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever you're into.
2. I will write something for you based on that e-card. I pick the pairing/characters, so you may end up with Alex/Lorelai, or you may end up with Demon Hunter!JJ, or you may end up with CHAD.
3. I actually filled out all the prompts last time I did this, so there's a good chance I will be able to do the same this time!
I have no idea how many of you are still around, but I hope I'll get a couple of prompts at least! I feel Christmasy! And Chad-dy! God, it's never good when I feel Chad-dy.
And now I will watch SVU and relax. Shut up, I know I make bad choices. (But OMG! NEAL IS JUMPING SHIP! THERE IS A TINY TINY TINY POSSIBILITY THAT THE BLOODY SHOW WOULD FINALLY END AND I CAN BE FREEEEEEEEEEEE.)
BEST FIC MEME EVER! DO IT!!!!!!
I'm still alive (barely) and am three exams down. Two more to go.
On a happy note, I did not fail the awful oral submissions thing where I was almost in contempt of court. I didn't get a great mark, but I ain't complaining, considering I seriously thought I would fail because I wasn't allowed to argue LAW so I had no idea how they were supposed to assess me.
On an even happier note, I totally motherfucking pwned my plea in mitigation for Criminal Litigation. Like, honestly, it was the punched-it-in-the-face-and-then-got-its-girlfriend-pregnant-by-mystical-powers-of-fpreg kind of pwned.
To celebrate my survival of this insane term, I'm bringing back, for the holidays, the BEST FIC MEME EVER.
Rules:
1. Pick a card on someecards.com. Any card.It doesn't even have to anything to do with Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever you're into.
2. I will write something for you based on that e-card. I pick the pairing/characters, so you may end up with Alex/Lorelai, or you may end up with Demon Hunter!JJ, or you may end up with CHAD.
3. I actually filled out all the prompts last time I did this, so there's a good chance I will be able to do the same this time!
I have no idea how many of you are still around, but I hope I'll get a couple of prompts at least! I feel Christmasy! And Chad-dy! God, it's never good when I feel Chad-dy.
And now I will watch SVU and relax. Shut up, I know I make bad choices. (But OMG! NEAL IS JUMPING SHIP! THERE IS A TINY TINY TINY POSSIBILITY THAT THE BLOODY SHOW WOULD FINALLY END AND I CAN BE FREEEEEEEEEEEE.)
BEST FIC MEME EVER! DO IT!!!!!!
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As for prompts, I got this on my very first e-card roulette:
http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/having-appropriately-congratulations-ecard-someecards.jpg
But this one wins fpreg awards: http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/liked-better-sucked-boobs-baby-ecard-someecards.jpg
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Alex was prepared for the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, the general inconvenience of being responsible for a tiny, helpless being.
What she hadn't anticipated was how freely and frequently strangers would approach her and talk about breasts.
"I'm not making this up," she insists when Lorelai smiles at her in the you're-crazy-so-I'll-just-smile-and-think-of-ways-to-quietly-slip-away way. It's the kind of smile Alex has perfected after years of living in Stars Hollow, so she recognizes it when she sees it.
"I think it's just your hormones doing wonky things to you," Lorelai says. "Oxytocin's supposed to make you high. You're probably just high, Claire."
"Who's high?" Luke asks as he refills Lorelai's coffee. Alex stares at it longingly, even though she's never been a fan of coffee. It's counter-intuitive on evolution's part that new mothers shouldn't have coffee when they so clearly need it for their survival.
"Claire," says Lorelai. "She thinks random people keep coming up to her and talking about breasts."
Luke makes a pained face and Alex tells him, "You've got to learn to stop asking." Then, to Lorelai, "Whether you believe it or not, I am not hallucinating any of this. I swear to god, I didn't even have to put up with this much talk about breasts when I was the sex crimes ADA."
The baby chooses at this moment to start making peeping noises. Alex sighs and begins unbuttoning her shirt. Luke is probably somewhere in the back, hiding.
"Notice how I am right here," Lorelai says, "and I am not talking to you about breasts. Are you still sure it's not the oxytocin making you high?"
Her smugness is interrupted when a woman, probably a tourist, stops by their table and tells Alex to keep nursing the baby for as long as possible. "The pediatrician recommends six months, but I say, do it for as long as you can. My husband lost interest in me after I stopped breastfeeding my Tyler."
As soon as the woman has left, Alex turns to Lorelai and says, "Do you want to admit you're wrong, or should I subject you to a lengthy speech on how vindicated I feel right at this moment?"
"I would never leave you just because you stop breastfeeding," Lorelai says.
Lengthy speech it is.
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Alex and Lorelai and baby and fic!
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