I'm returning to my roots just for this one. Also, don't ask me how I know, but Amber Tamblyn and Miranda Cosgrove (Sloan) have the same birthday.
**
God's asked her to do so many weird things over the years that Joan rarely questions him anymore. She complains a little out of habit, but mostly she just rolls her eyes.
This week's assignment is not even all that weird. It's definitely not as awesome as Joan had anticipated though. Hollywood people are crazy, especially when it comes to digging up dirt on Disney starlets. Already Joan's been offered bribes from random paparazzi.
"There's nothing else for today," Joan tells Sloan back in the hotel room. They're in the penthouse suite of Four Seasons Maui. Sometimes God is awesome. "But tomorrow's going to be brutal. We've got to re-shoot yesterday's scenes, then in the afternoon there's some signing thing at the mall, and Miley Cyrus is having a birthday party tomorrow night."
Sloan makes a face that Joan must've made a million times when she was Sloan's age. "Do I really have to go?" she whines, sounding more six than sixteen.
"I don't really think you have a choice," Joan says. The paps have been on a feeding frenzy about rivalries between Disney co-stars and Disney's PR is getting concerned.
"Well, tomorrow's gonna suck." Sloan sighs.
Joan has to bite her lip to stop herself from pointing out that Sloan is whining about having to go to a birthday party, but then again Joan supposes she'd be whining too if she had to go to Miley Cyrus' birthday party.
Instead, she just asks, "Should I order you dinner?"
Sloan makes that face again. "Room service is boring." (God, Joan hates teenagers. Was she that annoying when she was a teenager?) "Come on, let's go have something good."
"Me?"
"Yes, you. Come on."
They get a table at some swanky Japanese restaurant where normal people have to make reservations six months in advance, but Sloan just waltzes in and maître d’ is falling over himself and asking for an autograph "for his kids."
Joan still doesn't eat raw fish (because, gross, it's raw fish), but there are a million other dishes that she's never heard of which are cooked, and Sloan orders all of them for her.
They eat mostly in silence because they aren't really friends and have nothing in common except, well, Sloan, and Sloan doesn't really like talking about herself that much. Which Joan found kind of surprising at first. But if there's anything she's learned from being God's errand-girl, it's that people are surprising.
Someone must've tweeted about Sloan's presence at the restaurant, because soon the paparazzi arrive and start taking photos through the window. Joan has the maître d’ move them to a private room, but dinner is ruined and Sloan looks small and miserable as she sips her ramune soda through a straw.
"You know," Joan says, feeling sorry for the kid. Jesus, she's just a kid. "You don't have to do this. You can quit."
Sloan stares at her. "What am I going to do if I quit?"
"I don't know, go to college?" Joan says. "Backpack through Asia? Eat the world's largest bacon cheeseburger?"
"Largest bacon cheeseburger?" Sloan raises an eyebrow.
Joan waves her hand. "Whatever. I'm just making an example. You can do anything if you wanted to."
Sloan stares at her some more as she finishes her soda with a loud slurp. "Okay," she says slowly, like she's trying out the idea. "But I still have to go to Miley's party?"
Joan gives her an apologetic look. "Yeah, that I can't get you out of. Sorry."
Sloan nods, and she looks so sad that Joan reaches out and rests her hand on her shoulder. "I'll google world's largest cheeseburger tonight, okay?" she says. "We'll work on that after Miley's party."
Joan swears she's never seen Sloan smile so wide, ever.
**
This is, like, Joan of Arcadia/The Good Wife. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Sloan is Miranda Cosgrove's character in this one episode where she was a Disney star that got in a DUI and her life sucked. Uh, this ficlet is probably set before the TGW episode. I don't know. Amber Tamblyn and Miranda Cosgrove have the same birthday. Let's just ponder that for a minute.
no subject
**
God's asked her to do so many weird things over the years that Joan rarely questions him anymore. She complains a little out of habit, but mostly she just rolls her eyes.
This week's assignment is not even all that weird. It's definitely not as awesome as Joan had anticipated though. Hollywood people are crazy, especially when it comes to digging up dirt on Disney starlets. Already Joan's been offered bribes from random paparazzi.
"There's nothing else for today," Joan tells Sloan back in the hotel room. They're in the penthouse suite of Four Seasons Maui. Sometimes God is awesome. "But tomorrow's going to be brutal. We've got to re-shoot yesterday's scenes, then in the afternoon there's some signing thing at the mall, and Miley Cyrus is having a birthday party tomorrow night."
Sloan makes a face that Joan must've made a million times when she was Sloan's age. "Do I really have to go?" she whines, sounding more six than sixteen.
"I don't really think you have a choice," Joan says. The paps have been on a feeding frenzy about rivalries between Disney co-stars and Disney's PR is getting concerned.
"Well, tomorrow's gonna suck." Sloan sighs.
Joan has to bite her lip to stop herself from pointing out that Sloan is whining about having to go to a birthday party, but then again Joan supposes she'd be whining too if she had to go to Miley Cyrus' birthday party.
Instead, she just asks, "Should I order you dinner?"
Sloan makes that face again. "Room service is boring." (God, Joan hates teenagers. Was she that annoying when she was a teenager?) "Come on, let's go have something good."
"Me?"
"Yes, you. Come on."
They get a table at some swanky Japanese restaurant where normal people have to make reservations six months in advance, but Sloan just waltzes in and maître d’ is falling over himself and asking for an autograph "for his kids."
Joan still doesn't eat raw fish (because, gross, it's raw fish), but there are a million other dishes that she's never heard of which are cooked, and Sloan orders all of them for her.
They eat mostly in silence because they aren't really friends and have nothing in common except, well, Sloan, and Sloan doesn't really like talking about herself that much. Which Joan found kind of surprising at first. But if there's anything she's learned from being God's errand-girl, it's that people are surprising.
Someone must've tweeted about Sloan's presence at the restaurant, because soon the paparazzi arrive and start taking photos through the window. Joan has the maître d’ move them to a private room, but dinner is ruined and Sloan looks small and miserable as she sips her ramune soda through a straw.
"You know," Joan says, feeling sorry for the kid. Jesus, she's just a kid. "You don't have to do this. You can quit."
Sloan stares at her. "What am I going to do if I quit?"
"I don't know, go to college?" Joan says. "Backpack through Asia? Eat the world's largest bacon cheeseburger?"
"Largest bacon cheeseburger?" Sloan raises an eyebrow.
Joan waves her hand. "Whatever. I'm just making an example. You can do anything if you wanted to."
Sloan stares at her some more as she finishes her soda with a loud slurp. "Okay," she says slowly, like she's trying out the idea. "But I still have to go to Miley's party?"
Joan gives her an apologetic look. "Yeah, that I can't get you out of. Sorry."
Sloan nods, and she looks so sad that Joan reaches out and rests her hand on her shoulder. "I'll google world's largest cheeseburger tonight, okay?" she says. "We'll work on that after Miley's party."
Joan swears she's never seen Sloan smile so wide, ever.
**
This is, like, Joan of Arcadia/The Good Wife. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Sloan is Miranda Cosgrove's character in this one episode where she was a Disney star that got in a DUI and her life sucked. Uh, this ficlet is probably set before the TGW episode. I don't know. Amber Tamblyn and Miranda Cosgrove have the same birthday. Let's just ponder that for a minute.