Do not insult Alex's parenting skills! They are exactly on par with my own babysitting skills! I explained transubstantiation to a six year old. (I'm not entirely sure if it stuck.) And how apostrophes indicate reduced vowels!

(I did not manage to explain why the present progressive use of "is" is not the same as the use of "is" in a simile to the ten year old because i was too busy freaking out. Srsly, "is running" is not a simile.)