we all need to get into the holiday --- sonofabitch

[wizened_cynic]

This started as a random thought that passed through my mind on the way home and turned into a list of suggestions for Mattel (with many suggestions by thrace_):

Funeral Home Barbie
Taxidermist Barbie
Russian Mail Order Bride Barbie
Sold into Sexual Slavery Barbie
Failed Boob Job Barbie
Single Teen Mom Barbie
Kidney Thief Barbie
Post Partum Depression Barbie
Overlooked for Promotion Because She's Ugly Barbie
Fired For Not Giving Her Boss a Blowjob Barbie
Pretending to be Bisexual for Attention from Boys Barbie
Lesbian Trucker Barbie
Closeted TV Actress Who Swims With Dolphins Barbie
HIV Positive Barbie
Living with Hepatitis B Barbie

And just so Ken doesn't feel left out:

Date Rape Ken
Diaper Fetishist Ken
Prison Bitch Ken
Erectile Dysfunction Ken
Pedophile Clergy Ken


Plz to give me AU prompts?

Comments

[artemis-rain.livejournal.com]

Damn it! Now I wish those were real so I could put each and every one of them on my Christmas list!

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like Diaper Fetishist Ken!

Now, thanks to you, nothing I get this year or for the rest of my life is ever going to measure up to Kidney Thief Barbie.

Get on it, Mattel!

[wizened-cynic.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that I ruined Christmas for you. Believe me, if I could make up for it with Preppy Dominatrix Barbie, I would.