They had a hard time coming up with a name for The Savior of Us All, so for two months, they just called her Smooshface. Because she looked like one, and because The Savior of Us All was quite a mouthful, especially after eight weeks of sleep deprivation.

They would've named her Mary, but both their dads objected. The kid needs her own name, they said, so it was back to Beyond Jennifer and Jason, which was totally outdated anyway, who the hell still names their kid Jennifer these days?

"Isabella?" Lorelai suggested.

"Ugh," said Alex. "Too Twilight. Caroline."

"Too Little House on the Prairie."

"You love Little House on the Prairie."

"Not enough to name my kid after Ma Ingalls. Ava."

"Everyone's named Ava. She's going to go to kindergarten with six other Avas. Victoria."

"No! No queen names!"

They stared at each other in exhausted silence as little Mary-Isabella-Caroline-Victoria-Ava let out a contented little sigh from where she was napping in her bassinet.

"We're going to call her Smooshface forever, aren't we?" Alex asked, defeated.

Lorelai nodded. "But she'll be the only Smooshface in her kindergarten class."