wizened_cynic: (Default)
if we wanted, we could fall - 7/8 )

Note: YES THIS IS YET ANOTHER SUPERNATURAL CROSSOVER.

FYI, the Winchesters in here are not the usual Winchesters, i.e. incestuous brothers Sam and Dean. The Winchesters in here are Dean and his dad John, also known as Jeffrey Dean Morgan. This takes place during the time Dean is really upset over Sammy abandoning him to go to Stanford. Dean has a lot of manpain.

wizened_cynic: (alex - pensive)
if we wanted, we could fall - 8/8 )

AND THAT IS THE END. It's been fun, kids. Let's never do this again.
wizened_cynic: (SM2 (annapie))
I don't know what this is. I really wanted to write about babies. My co-worker brought hers to work and he was so fucking cute, this happened.

For clarification, this is Criminal Minds gen, with a minor dash of Emily/JJ towards the end. Jesus, you think after 9 years, I'd be better at this.

five times emily prentiss was almost somebody's mother )

It's like 80% angst, 15% schmoop, and 5% WHAT THE FUCK CYNIC. You are warned. (Seriously, it's like 1/5 Gilmore Girls AU, 1/5 Supernatural AU, 1/5 Doyle-arc which might as well be a fucking AU.)

Now up and ready at AO3 so I can whore myself out for more comments! YAY!

wizened_cynic: (da fuck? (branchness))
Apparently my way of dealing with workplace bullying is to write fic about Chad.

For [livejournal.com profile] nike_ravus, who, instead of going WTF? when I said I wanted to write gen fic about Alex Cabot's relationship with her half brother, said go ahead. I hope you won't regret it.

I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at. - Maya Angelou )


The Valium is really kicking in now so let's see how much I regret this tomorrow morning.

Bye.

ETA: Now available at AO3 (with a few edits)! http://archiveofourown.org/works/381568
wizened_cynic: (Default)


Happy Year of the Dragon to y'all! May the new year bring you good fortune, prosperity, lesbians, and yak penis.


wizened_cynic: (Default)


Sprite died today.

I was at work and wasn't told about it until a couple of hours later. By then the people from the cremation service had already taken her body away. I didn't hold her this morning; she was sleeping in her warm, fluffy nest and I didn't want to wake her up. I'll never get to hold her again.

She was sick --- her eye got better after we gave her some drops, but I'm thinking now that maybe all that medication stressed her kidneys out --- but it was still unexpected. I seriously didn't anticipate for her to go so soon. She was 20 months old. I suppose that's old to a hamster, but not super old.

She was one of the world's best hamsters. Tamest as can be, never bit anyone, even though she did like to nibble. She was my dad's favorite. He's still a complete mess over her death. She was so sweet-natured but not the smartest hamster in the pet store, which only made us love her more.

You'll be sorely missed, Sprite. Rest in peace. Say hi to all the other hammies up in hamster heaven.

Today's been a pretty fucking shit day. I didn't get to say goodbye to my hamster, I got screamed at by my boss for not doing my job right because he FORGOT what my job was supposed to be so he thought I was doing it wrong, and the usual backstabbing office drama and what not.

I feel crappy enough that I'm going to shamelessly point you to my entry in the Holiday Love Meme.

Post a link to yours and I'll give you some love what sociopaths pass off as love.

wizened_cynic: (aj - things change)
2 more days! So much to do, so much haven't been done. Had an awesome day today with [livejournal.com profile] eolan despite disappointing Greek food and then an equally awesome evening with my best friend from high school, with whom I played Marry, Boff, Kill: Food Network edition. She was willing to marry Bobby Flay so that I could then marry his wife. (As to why she didn't choose to KILL him, her reasoning is that he's an iron chef so he can cook for her, while Guy Fieri (boff) only cooks fast food and she met Duff (kill) in person and he grossed her out.)

THIS IS WHAT TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE.

Also, because I am bored and [livejournal.com profile] mcdoh1902 said she would spam the hell out of this, here's a meme:

Pick one of my fics, and I'll give you three details that didn't make it into the fic. Background canon, deleted scenes, or a look into the future. My choice, but if you have a specific question you can ask it in your request.

I might write a longer post detailing my day, because there were several inane conversations I don't want to forget, but I actually need to do shit like PACK and VACUUM and GET THE LEAKY SINK FIXED, so. We'll see.

In conclusion, I would kill Giada de Laurentiis, boff Rachael Ray, and marry Paula Deen.

wizened_cynic: (lorelai - devious)
Two weeks left! Man, I'm going to miss this place. It's so clean and the air doesn't smell like lung cancer and the weather's gorgeous and I just watched someone make TEMPURA BACON on the Food Network.

But whatever, let's focus on what is important: I've been whining for years about the lack of menstrual kink in femslash fic and then this appeared on my flist:

Thicker Than, by [livejournal.com profile] threeguesses, The Good Wife, Alicia/Kalinda

It is amazingly hot and dirty, and like I said to [livejournal.com profile] speshtian on Twitter, "I favorited the fuck out of this fic so many times, I would've gotten it pregnant if it weren't on the rag." Seriously, it is smoking hot and sweet at the same time, in a Kalinda sort of way. I don't know. I've seen two episodes of The Good Wife, and one of them had Miranda Cosgrove in it, and she's looking pretty hot in the HP commercials WHAT AM I DOING SHE IS A BABY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

In conclusion, READ IT!

I'm also reccing Please Leave Your Taste On My Tongue, by [livejournal.com profile] cherie_morte, Supernatural, girl!Sam/Dean. Also fucking smoking hot and dirty, but it is genderswapping het, so most of you have already stopped reading by now. (If you haven't, you should read it! It is awesome! I love her girl!Sam voice!)

Now let's talk about fics that don't involve that time of the month.

[livejournal.com profile] omiceti is writing an SVU/Parks and Recreation crossover, If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal, which will eventually be Alex/Leslie, how awesome is that? Seriously, [livejournal.com profile] omiceti is the queen of detail and her Alex is spot-on and I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING BUT I'M SURE AS HELL ENJOYING THE RIDE THERE. It is aces, people! HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

That's really all for today. I am now going to stare in horror at Giada de Laurentiis's hugeass forehead. Girl can give Alexis Bledel a run for her money.

wizened_cynic: (alex cabot's magic uterus!)
Goddammit, one of you (I KNOW IT'S ONE OF YOU) requested Lorelai/Claire pregnancy!sex for the Femslash Kink meme, and I wasn't going to write it, because I don't trust myself with the English language anymore, but I had a fucking cup of English breakfast at dinnertime (THERE IS NO LOGIC TO MY LIFE WHATSOEVER) so I can't fucking sleep and this is what happened.

Whoever you are, I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF.

Assume this is part of the Monkeypaw AU. Alternatively, Stars Hollow is such a magical place that mystical fpreg happens naturally.

fic below )

So, there's that.

Now that I've written you porn, mysterious prompter (THERE'S ONLY FIVE OF YOU WHO READ THIS JOURNAL SO I WILL FIND YOU EVENTUALLY MARK MY WORDS), do something for me --- watch Rookie Blue, and discuss how fucking amazing Andy McNally's hair is in last night's episode.

Thank you.

(Holy shit, writing fic in the middle of the night? It's like going back in time to 2006! I wish I'd used more moisturizer back then. Curse you, past self.)

MOAR PORN

Apr. 28th, 2011 07:32 pm
wizened_cynic: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] lazy_daze writes some of the best femslash in the SPN fandom (she did give us the Olivia Wilde/Adrianne Palicki fic, A Soft Spot for Nice Girls) and she doesn't disappoint in this insanely hot Adrianne/Genevieve piece: No one else can see the spark.

I feel like I'm talking to myself, but whatever. I'll have a record of good porn at least.

Also somewhat porny: Elisha Cuthbert's face when she's drunk-eating ribs. HAPPY ENDINGS: WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING IT?

wizened_cynic: (lorelai - *g*)
wcynic: did you read the spn porn?
mcdoh1902: i did
wcynic: did you like it?
i liked the strap on one
and oh you should read the foursome one
where jensen grows a vagina
and then jared grows a vagina
and then they have a FOURSOME

I'm going to mourn the day when I grow up and have a proper career and stop having these kind of conversations with people.

In other news, here's a brief list of the prompts I did for people:

I need a time billing code for not doing shit, CM RPF office AU, Paget/A.J.

Oregon Trail AU, 5 years later

somewhere i have never traveled, Alex in Stars Hollow, 2 weeks before

Danneel is awesome, Fuck Neal Baer AU, 2 months after


Some people wanted to know endings:

Quantum A.J.
Alex in Stars Hollow
Three Stephanies and a Lauren
Monkeypaw Babyverse

And no, SPN!Lorelai never gets a penis again. Sadface.

wizened_cynic: (lorelai - unapologetic mocker)
Having gotten my ass kicked by conquered the 27-page exam yesterday, I am officially done with this semester. DONE. Like a delicious porterhouse steak someone on Top Chef might make and then get eliminated because it's too simple and they took the easy way out by not cooking it with, I don't know, liquid nitrogen.

I'm all finished with core of the actual book-study part of this year. I have two more weeks of intense advocacy training in the middle of May, but that is mostly bullshit and pretending to be on Boston Legal.

So to celebrate my month-long break in which I plan to do absolutely nothing, I'm taking prompts again! Because it's been forever since I've written anything fic-ish. Fickish? Whatever. You can either choose a ecard from someecards.com, which has been done before and led to ... a lot of Chad.



Alternatively, you can pick a fic that I've written (check the fic tags or the sad and abandoned delicious and give me a timestamp, e.g. two weeks before, or five years after, etc. etc. and I will tell you what happened two weeks before or five years after whatever the hell went on in that fic, if I even remember.

OR you can just name one of the universes I've written and I'll tell you how it ends, because let's face it, I'm never going to have time to write fic ever again once my slavish duties totally awesome job starts.

But until then! Writing! Lesbians! Schmoop! Writing lesbian schmoop! YAY!!!

wizened_cynic: (alex - fml)
A conversation I had based on this picture:




我说:
i feel like alex would be horrified
especially since lorelai would want one


coolhandlo 发起对话:
lorelai would want all of them

我说:
they're going to come alive in the middle of the night and kill them in thir sleep
alex is convinced
wait is this claire or spn alex

coolhandlo 发起对话:
hahahaha idk
only difference is in spn they actually WOULD come alive


我说:
i KNOW, right?
they'd have to hide in the store
overnight
wait for them to come alive
how do you kill a stuffed elmo-kitty?

coolhandlo 发起对话:
decapitation?

我说:

decaptate and de-stuff
that would be time consuming
i feel like rock salt wouldn't work on elmo

coolhandlo 发起对话:
it wouldn't
decapitate, de-stuff, and then burn
it would smell horrible

我说:
yes
and there are a lot of them
they'll need to keep them paralzyed
or stunned
or entranced
"Elmo is the only non-human or puppet ever to testify before the U.S. Congress."

coolhandlo 发起对话:
...why do you know that

我说:
i may have wikied elmo to see how i could kill him


wizened_cynic: (lorelai - smile)
Technically, Chinese New Year isn't until Thursday, but I'll be busy as shit so ...



Sprite and I wish you all a prosperous Chinese New Year!

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