wizened_cynic: (good cop bad cop. nypd cop.)
[personal profile] wizened_cynic
1. The subject of this post is a true story. Our Duane Raid or whateveryouwanttocallit here is doing a super amazing summer special deal: if you buy maxi pads, they will give you canned fish.

2. Where I work, making partner is considered a valid excuse for the complete and utter lack of human decency. To be fair, it's probably like this in all law firms.

3. Because I got two awesome mystical fpreg drabbles from [livejournal.com profile] threeguesses, so I thought I'd pay it forward:

Tell me about a story I haven't written, and I'll give you between one and three (R-rated) sentences from that story.

Except for the fact that I can't really write porn, and I've spent the last 20 hours reading really bad babyfic on ff.net. YOU ARE WARNED.

ETA: If you haven't been watching Don't Trust the B___ in Apt. 23, then I don't want to be friends with you. If you HAVE been watching the aforementioned, then you must read this delightful gem of a fic here. Chloe/June. Best EVER.

Date: 2012-07-22 09:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silverturtle87.livejournal.com
1. That deal seems exceptionally weird to me. And I am very glad no one tries to foist canned fish off on me when I buy pads.
2. So what I'm hearing is a pact with Satan would probably be a ticket to the fast track at your firm.
3. The one where Alex and Emily met for the first time in the principal's office where they learn their daughters had been fighting (each other/together against other kids, dunno) and things got a little heated. It isn't the last time things get heated between them.
Edited Date: 2012-07-22 09:36 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-07-22 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
1. I live in an exceptionally weird place and lead an extraordinarily weird life. For example, I almost got stabbed on Friday serving an injunction on my client's wife. True story. (Except for the almost getting stabbed part. She was quite nice.)

3. Um, I'm not even sure what universe it is, but it's three sentences, so what the fuck ever.

Their cover story is that they're staying in to make cookies for the school bake sale, which is so incredulous that Alex herself rolls her eyes at it. Half an hour later she and Emily are covered in flour and sweat and come, and given the amount of frosting they've smeared on the floor and each other, Alex feels almost obliged to offer to pay for an exterminator, because she's fairly certain there are going to be ants. Which is only fair, since Emily is paying for the order of two dozen cupcakes from Magnolia.

Date: 2012-07-23 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silverturtle87.livejournal.com
Ha! Does which universe really matter when Emily, Alex, and baked goods are all in the same room together? I don't think so.

Date: 2012-07-22 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lowriseflare.livejournal.com
The one with Sam and Andy on their lunch break!

Date: 2012-07-28 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
I've totally failed at doing this, but in my defense I was caught up first in a No. 10 typhoon, then in an appeal for the world's most high-maintenance client. And I haven't had the time to download any episodes of RB from this season! Something which I will remedy as soon as I have the time. WHICH IS NEVER.

Btw, I'm totally watching SVU again. Goddammit Paget Brewster.

Date: 2012-07-23 12:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] threeguesses.livejournal.com
Alicia/Kalinda, how the mystical fpreg baby first came into being

(I mean, you saw that coming.)

Date: 2012-07-28 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wizened-cynic.livejournal.com
THIS IS NOT BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

They're celebrating somebody making partner, so it's champagne and former supreme court justices and quiet, desperate fucking in the handicapped bathroom. Alicia bites into Kalinda's shoulder to stop herself from screaming - she's not a screamer, not usually, but Kalinda is capable of doing anything.

Which is why Alicia is not as surprised as she would've expected when the stick turns blue six weeks later.

Date: 2012-07-29 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] threeguesses.livejournal.com
WIN. ♥♥♥

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